i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I need to calm my uterus...
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