Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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