So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
