she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
