Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
