I wannas sexs uuuuu
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
