I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
