I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
