ya dads aren't the best wingmen
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
and i looked up. we had an audience...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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