I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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