Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize