I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
