you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
