i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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