One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
it was like eating out sand paper
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
