It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
