What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
