They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
