another moral hangover. fuck.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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