watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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