it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize