I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
