How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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