And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Randomize
