i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Randomize