pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
So squirting runs in the family.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
