so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Blow job season was short but glorious.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
