ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
