Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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