I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
