My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
