id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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