Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
