no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
