I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
