Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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