And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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