Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize