Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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