No stitches, just platelets and will power
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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