if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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