College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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