I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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