He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
