i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize