Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize