I just threw up on my dentist
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
