Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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