You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
