i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Blood and glitter go together right?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
