therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
