That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize