Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
