are you still at the devil's house?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
