Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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