I didn't shave. On purpose
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Help. Why am I so naked?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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