What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
