What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
