u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
