Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.

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(816): View more from Missouri

I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now

Fav 23 1687 3299
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.

Fav 22 5815 998
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(207): View more from Maine

i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like

Fav 72 13230 1640
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works

Fav 11 4769 2153
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid

Fav 3 4901 946
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(785): View more from Kansas

I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.

Fav 5 1023 2165
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(443): View more from Maryland

Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?

Fav 1 946 341
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(248): View more from Michigan

Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?

Fav 0 27 29
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