You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize