Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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