Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Randomize