Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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